As we approach Mother’s Day—falling this year on Sunday, May 10th—there are a lot of feelings that can come with this day. I truly love the idea of having a special day to celebrate mothers and all the love, energy and dedication they give every single day. But what we don’t talk about enough are the harder feelings that can show up too, like stress, guilt, sadness and even grief. It’s important to be mindful that for some people, this day can feel heavy.
The not-so-glamorous side of Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day isn’t joyful for everyone. For some, it can be a reminder of someone they’ve lost—a mother, a partner, grandmother, a child or another important person in their life. For others, it can also be a reminder of not being able to conceive, become a mother, or carry out the kind of life they had hoped for. Celebrating someone on this day can also bring pressure to the organizers. The pressure to make the day perfect, to celebrate in the “right” way, to create something beautiful and, let’s be honest, a little Instagram-worthy. That kind of pressure can take away from what the day is really about.
Mother’s Day can also bring up something we don’t always say out loud—the sense of losing who we were before becoming a mom. Becoming a mother is a huge life transition. It changes everything. And while it can be incredibly beautiful, it can also feel overwhelming, and at times, even a bit disorienting. It takes time to find yourself again in this new role. Honestly, sometimes a lot of time. And that’s okay.
The weight of, “Am I good enough?”
I am constantly wowed and encouraged when I hear someone say, “I am a great mom.” But honestly? I think I’ve only heard one parent say that to me in the past few years. Not months, years! Why is that? How many of us, deep down, truly believe that we are a great mom? Because if I’m being honest, parenting often comes with a whole lot of self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. We question ourselves all the time.
But what does it even mean to be a “good” mom? We’re living in a world of information overload—advice everywhere, opinions everywhere, and social media constantly in our faces. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves and feeling like we’re not doing enough, or not doing it right. But the truth is, it is impossible to be a perfect parent all the time. Have we forgotten that it’s okay to make mistakes? That maybe we need to be a little kinder to ourselves? Can you be a good mother even if you’re not perfect? Even if you’ve made mistakes along the way? Yes, you can!
Redefining what we celebrate
I want this blog to be an important reminder: Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be about perfection, for those organizing something and those being celebrated. When we focus on perfection, it can leave so many moms and mother figures feeling like they don’t measure up, like they’re not doing enough, or even like they don’t deserve to be celebrated at all. But that’s not what motherhood is. Let’s celebrate the things that really matter:
- All mother figures, not just biological mothers.
- Showing up, even on the hard days.
- Loving our children deeply.
- Being vulnerable.
- Trying again when things don’t go as planned.
- Being imperfect, because that is part of it too.
Celebrating from the heart
For those wanting to do something for the mothers or mother figures in their lives this Mother’s Day, just remember—it doesn’t matter how big or small the gesture is. What matters is that it feels meaningful and comes from the heart. Sometimes, the things that mean the most are actually the simplest: cuddles in bed, spending time together doing something you enjoy, or even just a few quiet moments sitting close and being together.
Sending positive thoughts your way—and a few virtual hugs, too. If you need support, or help getting connected to programs for you or your family, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I am only an email or a phone call away.
Hugs,
Jessica