A Joyful Life Together
I was living a happy life with my wonderful partner, Denyse, and our five adult children. Most of our children lived in Québec City, and after I retired from the Canadian government as a Customs Investigator, Denyse and I chose to move there as well. Our days were filled with happiness, and we often travelled together. Family outings and festive gatherings for various events were common and brought us closer. In Québec, I found fulfilment teaching English and working part time as a journalist for the Québec Chronicle Telegraph.
The Onset of Dementia
Dementia slowly found its way into our home when Denyse began to show signs of forgetfulness. She would put things in the wrong places and occasionally experienced hallucinations. As her condition progressed, I found myself needing to be present around the clock to ensure her safety and well-being. To monitor her while I continued my part-time work as a journalist and writer, I installed a transmitter in the living room so I could hear her activities. Sometimes, I would hear her talking and discover she was having imaginary conversations with her parents while gazing at an empty sofa. Everyday tasks became more challenging: I would find cutlery in the garbage and soiled clothes in dresser drawers. To prevent accidents in the kitchen, we started purchasing prepared meals. The demands of attending to her physical and emotional needs became increasingly stressful for me.
Transitioning to Assisted Care
On professional advice, we moved to Logidor in October 2019, located in the Sainte Foy district of Québec City, so that Denyse could receive the care she needed. On Christmas Eve morning, December 24, I heard Denyse crying and found her on the floor by the bed. I immediately called for the medical team, and a nurse arrived quickly. It was determined that she had fractured her hip, and an ambulance was called. Denyse spent 42 days in hospital, during which a metal rod was placed in her leg. Her stay was extended to allow for mental assessments. I was invited to meet with the medical team, who informed me that Denyse had Alzheimer’s disease and explained that I could no longer care for her on my own. It became clear that she needed to be placed in a care facility.
A New Chapter at Saint Brigids
Fortunately, a place became available at Saint Brigid’s Home in the Sillery district of Québec City. For the first three years, I regularly drove to visit Denyse. In May 2024, I was accepted at McGreevy Manor, conveniently located next door to Saint Brigid’s, with an adjoining tunnel and wheelchair-accessible lift. This proximity allowed me to see Denyse daily, and I took comfort in knowing she was well cared for by medical staff and the activity coordinators. I could bring her to my apartment at McGreevy Manor, where she was warmly received by the residents who had come to know her. We would look at videos and photos of our family and the vacations we had enjoyed, before I brought her back to Saint Brigid’s for her meals. This routine continued until March 29, 2025, when Denyse passed away. Our family recently gathered to mark the first anniversary of her passing.
Family Support and Lasting Memories
The support of my children was crucial to my own health and resilience during this period. Denyse and I shared 73 years of marriage, were blessed with five children, nine grandchildren, and ten great-grandchildren. Despite the challenges of Alzheimer’s, our years together were filled with happy memories. At 93 years of age, I continue to drive my car and am writing this on my computer. I suppose dementia may not affect me for a while yet, if ever.
By Charles William (Bill) Cox